You've seen that movie. Well at least if you're a girl in your twenties you've seen it. Runaway Bride? The one where Julia Roberts attempts to marry several different guys. The premise is that she's always conforming to their personalities and knows very little about herself or what she really wants out of life. And then, in the end, the realization hits her in egg form--she has no idea how she likes her eggs. In any of the given relationships, she'd always make breakfast how they liked it and never thought that she could possibly venture to make it how she liked.
My thought here is, I'm somewhat similar to her.
I know how I like my eggs. But still, that's not the point.
I just bought my first hair dryer. I know, I know, it's weird. But up until I lived with Kristin, Lindsay and Joann, I had never used a blow dryer on my hair. Up until I lived with Lindsay, I never ratted my hair, or used hairspray. Up until Kristin, I didn't wear mascara. I didn't know the best way to get mascara off from under your eyes was to use spit and a q-tip. Up until Kenz, I didn't wear make-up everyday or use bronzer. I've always somewhat conformed to my surroundings. I easily adapt to my enviroment, but it's not always been a good thing. Because instead of finding my likes and personality, I found the likes and personalities of other people. Part of that is normal, people introduce certain things into your life and you have opinions as to whether you'll take it as your own or leave it.
But now, I'm ready to have my own life, separate from my friends. I'm ready to live on my own. I haven't really ever. I went from family, to serious relationship, to really solid and concentrated friendships. It's time to be alone and let Jesus be it all.
DON'T GET ME WRONG. I adore my friends. I truly have such incredible friends. They love me so much and show it very openly. I love how much they have introduced me to new things. Because of them I know that I love using a blow dryer, wearing high heels and mascara. And I like the way my hair is when Lindsay rats it.
But... I am ready to know that I like things because I actually like them, not because other people do.
I'm ready to make new friends and tell them how I like my eggs. Which is over-easy, cooked in a hole in the middle of a piece of toast... and maybe some bacon on top. I like bacon.