Lord I believe, help my unbelief.

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Isaiah 30:18-21



Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I know how I like my eggs. But still, that's not the point.

You've seen that movie. Well at least if you're a girl in your twenties you've seen it. Runaway Bride? The one where Julia Roberts attempts to marry several different guys. The premise is that she's always conforming to their personalities and knows very little about herself or what she really wants out of life. And then, in the end, the realization hits her in egg form--she has no idea how she likes her eggs. In any of the given relationships, she'd always make breakfast how they liked it and never thought that she could possibly venture to make it how she liked.

My thought here is, I'm somewhat similar to her.

I know how I like my eggs. But still, that's not the point.

I just bought my first hair dryer. I know, I know, it's weird. But up until I lived with Kristin, Lindsay and Joann, I had never used a blow dryer on my hair. Up until I lived with Lindsay, I never ratted my hair, or used hairspray. Up until Kristin, I didn't wear mascara. I didn't know the best way to get mascara off from under your eyes was to use spit and a q-tip. Up until Kenz, I didn't wear make-up everyday or use bronzer. I've always somewhat conformed to my surroundings. I easily adapt to my enviroment, but it's not always been a good thing. Because instead of finding my likes and personality, I found the likes and personalities of other people. Part of that is normal, people introduce certain things into your life and you have opinions as to whether you'll take it as your own or leave it.

But now, I'm ready to have my own life, separate from my friends. I'm ready to live on my own. I haven't really ever. I went from family, to serious relationship, to really solid and concentrated friendships. It's time to be alone and let Jesus be it all.

DON'T GET ME WRONG. I adore my friends. I truly have such incredible friends. They love me so much and show it very openly. I love how much they have introduced me to new things. Because of them I know that I love using a blow dryer, wearing high heels and mascara. And I like the way my hair is when Lindsay rats it.

But... I am ready to know that I like things because I actually like them, not because other people do.

I'm ready to make new friends and tell them how I like my eggs. Which is over-easy, cooked in a hole in the middle of a piece of toast... and maybe some bacon on top. I like bacon.



9 comments:

Eric and Lindsay said...

Brilliant.

joshandkarlee said...

You will still always be Dixie Tinsel Toes in my heart!

Lorelei said...

I tell you what, you find out nico things while you're over there in PTown. Then, when I come visit, you can introduce me to them:) Deal? Deal.

Kristin said...

this is a deep philosophical blog post from someone that isn't moving.

Hannah Joy & Ellie Mae said...

Oh Yeah... Egg in a hole... my dad's specialty!
~Danielle ;0)

Yessica said...

I like my eggs fertilized.

John, Christina, and Hannah said...

Egg in a hole... Totally a "Peek-a-boo" egg! You are supposed to take the circle of toast (that makes the hole) and cover the egg when you serve it. When you place the plate on the table you lift the circle and smile saying "Peek-a-boo!" (I thought this would be a great tip for you since you love kids and are sure to serve a few to them!) =)

erika_glenn.kara said...

hahahahahaha.. oh jess. haha.
umm, thats really all i have to say. but i guess i could give you props for being amazing and wonderful. im excited for you. miss you.

The Reid Team said...

i learn more from you and about you with each and every post and my love for you continues to grow - just like you are doing - growing into the woman of God you were intended to be - continue to follow His path and you will continue to learn darlin' - we love you much!